I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
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Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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