i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
