Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
ttyl tear gas
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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