what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
