So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
