There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
