is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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