god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Found the puke drawer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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