He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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