After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
