Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
