is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
