i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
