in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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