I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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