Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
