What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
