Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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