Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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