we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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