I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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