capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
