the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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