i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
