just come out here and I will go home with you...
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
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And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
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I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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