Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.