It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm passing your future prison.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?