he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.