i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
