I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
