So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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