I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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