fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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