me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
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