I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
