i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
