I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize