we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
