I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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