ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
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Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
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why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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