Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
