We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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