I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
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Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
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After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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