i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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