Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
