Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
