I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair