shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
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If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
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But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house