just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.