I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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