Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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