We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
