I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
