New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
