She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
