If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
