Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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