i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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