I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he told me I talked like a deaf person
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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