awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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