That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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