Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize